MASTERPIECE PRESS BOOKS

FUNNY STORIES FROM THE TATTOO CHAIR

BY DG WILSON

A great book that really lets you know what it is like to be an artist these days! Struggles with the customers, the public and yes even his family give DG Wilson, a famous tattoo artist, a lot of "challenges." Wonderful stories from behind the tattoo needles, paint brush and the family. Hear about DG Wilsons' constant follies and the way he creatively tries to get around them!

HERE IS A SAMPLE: "Once a customer threatened me just before we got started on his tattoo! Can you believe it? He said, "Now don't piss me off DG! I took an anger management class!" What the hell does that mean? I told him, without the slightest hesitation: "Don't piss ME off! I DIDN'T take a class!"

I have a customer that comes in on the regular, and he always says, "Now DG, I'm gonna make you do this tattoo for me!" Make me? I told him a few times that I wished he would put it a different way...how would he like it if I said to him, "Now I'm gonna MAKE you pay!"

General rule at Masterpieces: Don't be RUDE & POOR! Chose one at least!

If asked, I will admit, I am Internationally Recognized for my art; but only if you ask the right people.

The number one question that I am asked is if a tattoo hurts? I say bluntly, "Of course it hurts!" Then to settle them down I tell them, (so they don't jump out of the chair and bolt...) "Don't worry though, you'll get over it." Then to PROVE that they will make it through the tattoo I say... "I haven't LOST ANYONE, yet!"

But the real truth is: NOT everyone has the MUSTARD to get a tattoo! It does hurt, not like being run over by a train, but you do feel it. (The secret is relaxing, breathing AND NO WIGGLING!)

Hello, I'm DG Wilson. I am an artist that tattoos, not just another run of the mill tattoo artist. I do all kinds of art but hurting people has been a passion for over 13 years! (Actually, come to think of it, I've been hurting people all my life, but have been recently been getting paid for it!)

Why am I doing this? Why on earth would a reasonable man actually want to flay open his soul and show you the crap I go through in a day? Simply, so you KNOW what it is LIKE to be AN ARTIST these days! Damn hard I tell you. A SELF EMPLOYED, Professional Artist at that? Even harder. That is why Tattooing as an ART is so cool...but it is freaking hard!

When a customer comes in for a fine art, highest quality, custom tattoo, they want a Masterpiece! They also want to know what has been going on in the shop. Sometimes, if in the mood, (depending upon how much abuse I got that day,) I just may tell them a little and a bit about the last few customers.

My people, my patrons love the stories so much that they tell me, "DG, you are so funny! Man you should do stand up comedy!" (But I like to sit.)

Anyway the tales of my woe, my shortcomings and my follies always get a good howl out of them...(My WIFE TOO!) What ISN'T funny to me, is that these hilarious stories are accounts of the abuse I suffer-(almost daily)-from my customers, the public and yes, even my family!

To my customers and patrons I am a freaking HERO! But I know to my family I appear to be a bumbling idiot that can't get a damn thing right. Funny how at home I am a fool, at work I am great. If I am so great why am I still POOR at home?

So come, sit down and read a good book. Hear about my life and find out for yourself why I am a Master of my world...Masterpieces Tattoos, but nowhere else, ESPECIALLY not at home!

After a tattoo I would tell the customer how to take care of it. I used to joke, "First you rub some salt into your fresh tattoo and rinse it off with lemon juice..." Until someone actually did it!"...

FUNNY STORIES FROM THE TATTOO CHAIR by DG WILSON

Paper Back 80 pages ONLY $9.96

AVAILABILITY: In Stock.